Another personal story

I wasn’t sure if I would write a blog post about this. But sitting here in Lorne (one of my favourite places), looking out onto the ocean, and remembering all of the wonderful things that is Jake, it felt right to write. I choose to take a few days away by myself for the ‘year since’. Self-reflection for me is so important, and in truth I couldn’t face being around people this weekend. It is so interesting because you never think tragedy will happy to you, and you can never predict how you will deal with it when it does. For me this last year has been a learning curve I never expected or wanted. I won’t dwell too much on the past year, apart from noting that perhaps one of the oddest feelings is not being able to remember the end of August through to January last year (apart from a few small memories). I went in to autopilot and my brain cushioned me from the grief by not letting me remember, which I am thankful for. However, the fact that I can’t remember four months of my life has given me even more inspiration to live in the present. I want to remember the big things, the tiny things, and everything in between. I also honestly wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for the people around me. “it takes a community to get here” […]

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Dr.ofwhat’s top 7 posts of all time.

As you may be aware, this little blog turned 2 years old last week! So I thought I would share my most popular (views wise) posts from the last 2 years, you know, just in case you missed them.   The Shack by the Sea: A peek into the sweetest Airbnb. (682 views)   What happens when one event changes everything? (492 views)   How are you…really? (205 views)   Featured ‘day in the life of’: Steph, a PhD student & manta ray researcher. (194 views)   Featured ‘day in the life of’: Angela, member of the Watershed Stewards Program & soon-to-be masters student in the School of Marine and Environmental Affairs. (179 views)   My journey to understanding the importance of self-care. (169 views)   A PhD update. (163 views)

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My current favourite quotes

If you have read some of my previous posts or follow me on Instagram, you have probably gathered that I really like a good quote! With everything that has happened in the last 9 months I have been saving any quotes that I find that relate to going through hard times. These are my current favourite 8. “Of all the […]

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Travelling to Soothe the Soul

  There weren’t many things that I knew I wanted to do after losing Jake. Literally all of my plans changed. They flipped completely upside down. Well, almost all of them. Perhaps the only two things I knew I wanted to do were finish my PhD, and to get away for a little while (well more accurately, get away as […]

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How are you…really?

If you are unsure what this post is about- read here. *** Everyone asks me how I am. People close to me ask me “how are you, really?”. Which is a great question as they see through my generic “I’m okay” response. The truth is, I am both okay and not okay at the same time. I am okay in the sense that I am holding it together. However, I am also not okay as I am sad, angry, confused, and exhausted. I am genuinely so exhausted. Carrying around grief, literally feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders (which is a saying I always thought was so odd), it makes everyday tasks so much more tiring than normal. Whenever, I am watching a TV show and a character suffers a loss (particularly the death of a loved one), I always just want to fast forward to the part where they are okay again. I hate watching these fictional characters suffer. Now it is me suffering. And now I realise that it is going to take a really long time to “be okay” (I can’t just skip forward to season four) and that I don’t think I will ever “be okay”…well not in the same way that I used to be. Although, I said I’m sad, and angry, and confused, above all of those feelings I just miss Jake. I miss spending time doing nothing with him, […]

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My current self care strategies

I have wrote about the importance of self care in previous blog posts (including this one), and I think most of us know we should be looking after ourselves. However, life gets busy (particularly if you are a PhD student like myself), and it is often easy to forget about self care. Often it is not until you feel really […]

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September’s top 3

It’s time for the third ‘top 3’ segment (August was skipped) but if you haven’t seen July’s yet go here Movie ‘About Time’: This has been my favourite movie for a couple of years now, and watching my favourite movie was just what I needed this month. It is a quirky, light hearted, funny & happy movie that I could watch […]

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What happens when one event changes everything?

What happens when one thing, one unbelievably crappy, unimaginable thing, changes everything? A couple of weeks ago I lost my partner who I had been with for eight years in an accident. I lost the person I was excited about spending the rest of my life with. I lost the person I had spent almost a third of my life up to this point with. I know that I don’t normally write personal blogposts, but I needed to write this one, not for you, but for me. Putting things on paper has always helped me. Plus, Jake was the one who encouraged me to start this blog, and I am determined to keep it going. And hopefully even keep it growing. Although I think that often the words that can be offered in these situations are unnecessary, the words I have found comfort in are quotes, as I think quotes have a way of summarising how I feel, maybe even better than I can myself. I was scrolling tumblr when I came across this quote: “it a curious thing, the death of a loved one… it is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”- Lemony Snicket This quotes resonates with me, because I […]

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