One of my student evaluations last term said: “Bri needs to stop saying sorry for things that aren’t her fault or responsibility”.
What an interesting comment. Upon reflection this is definitely something that I do. This is something that many people do. This is something that many women do.
In 2021 I am going to stop apologising for things that I have no control over. To get me started, I thought about typical times that I say ‘I’m sorry’ and listed what I can say instead.
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“It is very stressful that the exam was impacted by COVID restrictions”
I have previously said
“I am sorry that the exam has been impacted….” however instead I could say “I understand that this is frustrating…”
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“I am requesting a two week extension…”
I have previously said
“I am sorry for the inconvenience but I cannot provide you with a two week extension….” however instead I could say “I cannot provide a two week extension in this instance….”
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I have previously said
“I am sorry, Zoom is being a nightmare” however instead I could say “Thank you for your patience, I was having some Zoom trouble”
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I have previously said
“I am sorry that I won’t be available that week as I will be on leave” however instead I could say “I will not be available that week as I am on leave, but I will follow up when I am back”
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I have previously said
“I am sorry that I don’t have a complex understanding of the brain, I will follow up and get back to you as soon as possible” however instead I could say “I don’t have a complex understanding of the brain as that is not my area of expertise, however I will follow up this great question and get back to you as soon as possible”.
2 Comments
For me, switching “sorry” statements around for “thank you” ones has been really helpful. Nice post, thanks for sharing.
oohhh I do this a LOT too, apologizing for stuff I have no business being sorry for. I think there is a slight gender component to it too; us women are certainly more prone to this.