I have been working in academia full time for over a year now, and even prior to that I have been working long and diverse hours both completing a PhD and working multiple jobs around that. For a long time, I prided myself on this, perhaps not overtly, but upon my own reflections I was proud of the amount of work that I did. I see TikToks joking about how women who grew up watching Rory Gilmore and Blair Waldorf have an academic complex, defining a lot of their worth on academic and work success. Perhaps this is true to me, or perhaps it is my combination of high scores on neuroticism, conscientiousness, and agreeableness that lead me down this path.
I always thought that once I finished my PhD I would stop working such long hours and the truth is I have definitely decreased the amount of time I was working. I am fortunate enough to have a job that I enjoy so I feel content with working long hours, however concerningly I have become to realise that I am bad at not working. It is fine if I am occupying my mind with other things, out with friends / family, painting the house, going to a winery, walking the dog, going to Pilates. But when I am trying to take time for me, I struggle so much to just do nothing, as my mind consistently drifts to work…
I do however know the importance of slowing down and not working, because as I have discussed in previous blog posts, while ‘sending a few emails’ seems harmless and easy, this habit still means my mind is on work time. Over the past year I have come to realise just what toll a PhD took on my body, and that coupled with the exhaustion of Endometriosis has been taxing. I no longer want my life to revolve so heavily around work. I don’t know how I am going to start the overworking detox yet, but I know that I need to.
Leave A Reply